About Joe from The Resurrected Camera

Composer, photographer, filmmaker artist.

The consequences are still worth it


I’D

RATHER

HAVE

IT

THIS

WAY

THAN

NOT

KNOW

FOR

THE

REST

OF

MY

LIFE

WHAT

COULD

HAVE

HAPPENED

Just like a soldier boy I’ve been out fighting wars the world never knows about
Oh, but I never win them loud
There’s no crowds around for me

-Tim Buckley
~Very few regrets~

The importance of familiarity

This post introduces my newest acquisition, a Sover Wong-serviced black unmetered F2.  I don’t feel the need to do an entirely new writeup for a camera that is essentially the same as this one, but I’ve had Johnny Martyr’s words kicking around in my head and wanted to rearticulate a few things here.

I’ve experimented with a few different cameras this past year (and over the course of this photo project), there’s always something exciting about trying a new camera and it’s undeniable that Nikon made some good ones, but when it’s all said and done there’s one that I can trust without reservations, because I know it so well:

Just like with cameras I’ve tried a few different film stocks this year as well and Tri-X is the one to which I always return.  My favorite film with my favorite cameras are an unstoppable combination!  And while I had a chrome F2, I didn’t have a black one…and it’s just soooooo pretty.  I had an argument with a friend recently about why she wouldn’t use a camera just because of how it looks.  I don’t agree with her reasoning, but at the same time I will say that this is almost the prettiest camera ever (…almost…).  Do I want to use it more because of that?  I dunno, maybe–but looking at it and wanting to use it don’t equate to the same thing in my mind.  It does make for a nice picture.

Last year I was shooting C-41 almost exclusively, this year I’ve been shooting traditional black & white almost exclusively, and having just about the prettiest girl in the world developing my film has given my visits there over the past few years a certain…something.  I’ve done a lot of experimenting but really I know what works for me, and the past 6 months it’s been about getting back to what I know best.  I’m not saying that I’ll never experiment again, in fact I continue to do so: things change periodically and my methods of working continue to evolve.  But not only are these combinations my One True Love, they represent a Bedrock which can be relied upon again and again–it’s a trust that’s been built over time and one that has never failed.

Introspection

Now all I want for Christmas is to get back the last 24hrs.  I was an idiot.

I live too much in my own head.  Sorry, DAddendum:
The thing is that I’m no longer afraid of looking like an idiot. Also I suppose Christmas Eve stupidity is sometimes needed.

All I want for Christmas is You

I hate Christmas music.  When I was a kid I had all of it I could ever want, with my mom putting on CD after CD of Christmas songs.  There were some pretty quality albums in there: Amy Grant, Sandy Patti, Roger Whittaker, Anne Murray, to name a few off the top of my head.  But being (eventually) forced to listen to them over and over again in an endless loop did me in long ago.  And the whole idea of a “Christmas Season” that gets longer and longer every year is incredibly frustrating and ultimately soul-sucking, when I’m constantly bombarded by not only the same “pop standards” over and over, but that there is absolutely no letup because every damn store in the country is playing them–the idiots would complain if they didn’t.  And again every year it starts earlier and earlier…


Wrong attribution, Laurence Harvey spoke that line, not Sinatra.

If only it were a mere 12 days…is that how it started?  But all the constant reminders of rampant consumerism are on full display usurping the True Meaning.  And anyone who doesn’t get with the program is immediately judged, labelled, and dismissed: for usually doing nothing but reacting against the constant barrage of advertising, songs, a whole zeitgeist based around a holiday that today means nothing to most people except as an excuse to spend a whole shitload of money.  But the whole thing is so ubiquitous that there is no escape but to hole up inside for at least 6 weeks, because even Thanksgiving isn’t safe anymore.  And I wouldn’t react as strongly as I do if I didn’t feel the weight of American culture demanding that I willingly accept such homogenized garbage.  I worked retail for a decade so believe me when I say that you guys out there are saints…especially with the added stress of the last few years!

That said, I can’t say that I hate what is probably the most polarizing Christmas song in recent times, Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You.”  And that’s because I didn’t even know the song existed before I first watched Love Actually a bit over a decade ago, and also because I hate radio and try to avoid Christmas music as much as I possibly can.  Familiarity breeds contempt, especially when it comes to songs on heavy rotation.  And I suppose I don’t want to get tired of the song because honestly the sentiment behind the lyrics hits pretty close to home.  More on that in a second, but take a look at the music video, because it was shot on Super 8:


And you can mute it and just look if you need to, I won’t judge…

Super 8 was of course perfect to capture the feel of the home movies aesthetic, with the added benefit that more than 25 years later, it still looks beautiful, timeless, and carries all the benefits inherent with film over video.  According to Phil at Pro8mm who did all the processing and transfer, it was shot on Ektachrome 160 with a Beaulieu 7008, possibly by Annie Leibovitz, though I don’t know if it was confirmed.  The original transfer in 1994 was a projector captured with a video camera and transferred to BetaCam SP, and became the most-watched Super 8 film that has ever been made.  I guess the version above was from a 2K rescan that Pro8mm did just a couple years ago.  So now it gets shared every Christmas in the small format filmmaking groups I’m in on Facebook, with some weeping and gnashing of teeth.  And I get it, so here’s the other side of it which I really enjoy, which is all the wonderful memes that have arisen over the last couple years:

Because I love to keep it TV- and film-related…

Again, apologies to retail workers everywhere, I really do get you.  I just don’t have the same relationship with this song (yet) that you do.  Again the sentiment behind the lyrics is what hits me most because we have this cultural cache of Christmas being the time to take leaps of faith, ask out your crush, kiss under the mistletoe, and all that…but it’s also the time when so many people are lonely and driven to the point of suicide.  It’s certainly the time of the year when I am most cognizant of there being such an important part of my life being missing.  And that combined with the constant barrage of Christmastime Culture creates a feedback loop, which makes it hard to step back and get perspective.

I think the tendency to hook up during the most romantic holiday of the year is a hard one to withstand.  Probably a lot of bad relationships start because of people being uncomfortable without a partner, and I wonder how much the whole Christmastime Culture plays into that.  I understand the need for romance, Love, physical connection, and just needing to share things that are supposed to be shared–the older I get those are the things I most long for in my own life.  I’ve become accustomed to not getting what I want.  So while this song does represent that bittersweet longing for me, it also holds tinges of Hope: whether or not reality plays into that almost isn’t the case.  Because ultimately, all I really want for Christmas is You.

The Nikon F4 used in my photo project work

For some reason I keep hanging heavier and heavier cameras around my neck!  I went from a Pentax Spotmatic to the Nikon F to a few different compact cameras back to the F and then the F2, and now the F4.  In actual use it’s really not that much heavier, and I’ve gotten used to it.  I’ve used three lenses with it, the 28mm f/2.8 AI-s Nikkor, 35mm f/2 AI-s Nikkor, and 85mm f/2 AI Nikkor, the three most modern lenses I own, and I’ve been very happy with the matrix metering so far; there have only been a couple occasions in 5 rolls where the shot I wanted wasn’t exposed properly.  This is one fully-electronic camera that you don’t have to worry about turning on every time you use it, I keep it set to S from the time I take it out in the morning to putting it away at night, and it’s always ready to take fantastic pictures, no drain on the batteries as far as I can tell.

Maybe it’s the updated multicoating of the lenses, maybe the lighting was just better in those few weeks, and maybe I wasn’t necessarily nailing the exposure before, but I’m in love with the look of all of these.  Is this going to supplant my F2s?  No.  The only thing I really have against the Nikon F4 is its bulk and weight but the amount of features you’re getting for that definitely tip the balance in the F4’s favor.  What I will use this camera for is:
-autoexposure-necessary shots: slide film, low-ASA, or any other speed besides 400 with which I’m really not that familiar
-fast-paced shoots where I need a motordrive